Get Off Your Story: Beyond Wellness Duality (with Bonus Flower Gift)
Posted by Joel Bennett on
"Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses. -- Alphonse Karr"Health and well-being is a process: a wonderful, organic, ongoing, purpose-oriented process. Yet, wellness folks can sell a story that slices and dices the natural and dynamic process of well-being. Their viewpoint forgets there are different levels of truth and paradigms, each perspective contributing something to the wonderful whole. For example, we hear about the following dualisms, as though in all cases, one is good and the other bad:
- traditional versus new wellness strategies
- stress versus thriving
- individual versus cultural approaches
- wellness versus well-being
- return-on-investment versus value-on-investment
- intrinsic motivation versus extrinsic motivation
- top-down versus bottom-up
- trialectics
- action logics
- integral development
- process philosophy, or just attend
- the Science and Non-Duality conference sometime.
"We don't want to throw out the limbic system. It's part of our story. Yay!"Forage, Friend, Figure Out. But humans have a lot more than just limbic systems. Raw Coping Power manifests in other--more intentional, more conscious, more tribal, and more fun and loving ways. Our brain's pre-frontal cortex provides these executive functions. We have learned to Forage--explore our surroundings for support, nurturance, and tools. We have learned to Friend or tend-and-befriend: give and receive empathy, trust, and compassion. And we have learned to Figure Out by using our cognitive faculties of logic, foresight, problem solving, and planning...and mindfulness (or centering). Importantly, we forage, friend, and figure out WITH the limbic system (see "frontal-limbic reciprocity") not SEPARATE from it. We are not disembodied vessels of artificial intelligence.
"The three processes are the basis of resilience and re-label them as compassion, centering, commitment, community, and confidence. We have evidence-based tools you can use to develop these."Flourish. This brings us to the final F. The tip of the flower. Because, as we go through life and work through the difficult emotions associated with fight (anger), flight (anxiety), freeze (fear/sadness); As we work with others when we explore and friend; As we figure all the stressors of life out, we start to master life. We start to learn how to find the good in situations. How to turn difficulties around. How to even use stress for positive outcomes. In short, we learn to flourish. Back to the Story I had a two-fold purpose in sharing the flower story with you. First, to show that it is possible to be equally informed by paradigms that may seem to suggest different (even opposite views) of phenomena. Second, to encourage you to find a story that attends to process, growth, perspective, and doesn't squarely set down on one side of a fence. This is particularly important for health professionals and wellness advocates who hawk a "single solution." I hope you find that "flower" in your life that helps you build a story; one that speaks to our neuroplasticity, to the wonder of our natural, evolving, learning, and healing processes; one that professes humanity's indomitable spirit to thrive in both the best and worst circumstances.
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